You Don’t Have to Earn Self-Care—Especially in Midlife

For years, I believed one of the most dangerous lies about self-care: that it had to be earned. That I had to check every box, finish every task, and be everything to everyone before I could take a breath for myself.

Maybe you’ve felt the same way.

It’s sneaky. It dresses up as responsibility, being a good mom, a good partner, a good employee. It whispers that rest is indulgent, slowing down is lazy, and putting yourself first is selfish. And before you know it, you’re running on fumes, wondering why you feel resentful, exhausted, and completely burned out.

The Moment I Realized the Truth

It wasn’t a dramatic meltdown that opened my eyes—it was a tiny, ordinary moment.

I was in the kitchen, juggling a million things. Dinner on the stove, my phone buzzing, my to-do list screaming in the background. My husband walked in, grabbed a glass of water… and just sat down.

Just sat.

No guilt. No rushing. No chaos.

And the world didn’t fall apart. The dinner still got cooked. The texts could wait. The house didn’t implode.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t remember the last time I had done the same for myself.

How to Break Free From Guilt

That moment shook me, not because he did anything “wrong,” but because I realized I’d been doing everything wrong. I’d been waiting for permission that no one was ever going to give me.

So I started small:

• Five minutes of quiet with my coffee before the chaos of the day

• A ten-minute walk in the sun just because it felt good

• Saying no to a commitment that drained me instead of filled me

And do you know what happened?

Nothing terrible. No one noticed. No one complained. The world kept turning.

But I changed. I laughed more. I felt lighter. I started to feel like me again.

Your Permission Slip - Especially in Midlife

If you’ve been waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to take care of yourself, here it is:

You do not need to earn rest. You do not need permission. You deserve it.

Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect or huge. It just has to be something. Try:

• Five minutes of journaling before bed

• Stretching before checking your phone in the morning

• A walk outside, even if it’s just around the block

You don’t have to wait until everything is done to put yourself first. You just have to start.

If you want a little extra support in making self-care a daily habit, check out my journal: Navigating Menopause: A Comprehensive Health Journal, your roadmap to living your healthiest, most energized second act.