I love you because I am able to love me!May 30, 2021
When I look back at the times where we struggled the most I see one connection – I was unhappy with myself. You know the saying Happy Wife Happy Life ~ there's something to that.
When I was at my lowest I was not invested – I was not invested in my work, my kids, my relationship. I basically abandoned my husband. I was not working at our marriage, I was just expecting the marriage to work.
When I think back on those dark days I feel so sad for that girl. I feel sad that she never asked for help, she never tried to figure out what was truly wrong – she just blamed everything/everyone else. She drank too much, slept too much, and completely shut down.
She had given up on herself. She had lost her identity, her value, the love for herself.
Why am I telling you all this? Because that girl has learned so much about herself over the last few years. No longer are her days dark. No longer does she push the blame off. She has learned to create her own happiness ~ to investing in herself.
2015 was probably one of the best years we’ve had in our marriage. There were so many factors, but for the first time in a very long time that girl felt her purpose. That girl had passion and fire, and that girl was 100% invested in her life.
The payoff is so much more than just fitting into a smaller size. The payoff seeps into relationships, into friendships, into your everyday life.
Since pouring back into ME, I’m happier with myself. I have energy. Not just energy to play with my kids, but also mental energy. Energy for me to focus on making myself a better person. Energy to put into my marriage and to build up the friendship that was once lost.
Well here we are some 5 years later and I'm proud to say that we are still living our best lives.
Here's what I can tell you - I still make time for me. I make time to move my body, I make time to laugh with my girlfriends, I make time to chase my dreams, and I spend my energy on things that fill my cup. But I also make sure that John is given his own "me time" because his cup is just as important!!
By no means have we had the luxury to stop "working" on our marriage, I feel we actually work harder.
Our kiddos are getting older, we have two living at home but our son will be leaving for the military this summer leaving only our youngest. Before we know it, we're going to be empty nesters. No longer will our daily routines be dictated by our children's schedules, giving us more time to just be a couple. And honestly, that can be a little scary . . . a little intimidating.
Unfortunately that new found freedom doesn't always turn out to be a blessing if you have forgotten what it means to be a couple not just parents.
As you get older, things change. Your dreams change, your body changes, your interest change and it's important you are communicating with your partner these changes you are experiencing.
It's not always easy to be open about my fears, about my new midlife body, or about my needs, but I can't expect him to be on the same page with me if I don't even tell him the title of the book.
Take time to invest in yourself – then you will be able to really pour into those you love!
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