What It Really Means to Be a Dangerous Woman in Midlife

Somewhere along the way, “dangerous” became a dirty word.
Especially for women.

We were taught that being too loud, too opinionated, or too confident made us difficult, as if the goal was to move quietly through life, keeping everyone else comfortable.

But here’s the truth:
You can’t change your life by playing small.
And midlife?
It’s not the time to disappear — it’s the time to disrupt.

When I started working on my TEDx talk, one phrase kept circling in my mind:  “Gen X women in menopause are currently the most dangerous people." 

Not because we’re unpredictable.
Not because we’re angry (though, honestly, we’ve earned the right to be).
But because we’re awake.

We’ve lived long enough to see what happens when we stay silent and we’re done doing that.
We’ve learned that self-sacrifice doesn’t make us stronger; it just makes us exhausted.
And we’ve realized that being dangerous isn’t about chaos it’s about clarity.

When I say “dangerous,” I don’t mean reckless. I mean awake. Aware. Unapologetically alive.

Somewhere between school pick-ups, career pivots, and hot flashes, a lot of us forgot what it felt like to be dangerous. We got busy doing all the things for everyone else until one day, we looked in the mirror and thought, Wait… when did I start playing so small?

Here’s the truth:
A dangerous woman in midlife isn’t scary.
She’s powerful.
She’s grounded.
She’s done pretending.

She’s the woman who’s finally stopped trying to make everyone comfortable especially at the expense of herself.

You don’t need to burn it all down to start being dangerous.  You just need to take small, deliberate steps toward your own power.

Here’s where to start:

1️⃣ Ask Better Questions

The most dangerous woman is an informed woman.  She doesn’t settle for vague answers like “That’s just aging” or “It’s normal for women your age.”

If your energy is off, your sleep is disrupted, or you just don’t feel like yourself ask why.  Push for answers.  Get curious, not quiet.

Because every question you ask is a form of self-advocacy.

2️⃣ Take Up Space

Physically. Emotionally. Verbally.  Lift the heavy weights.  Say what you mean.  Take the time you need.

For too long, we’ve been told to shrink, to be thinner, quieter, more agreeable.  But a woman who stands tall in her truth, who occupies her space with confidence and compassion, is powerful beyond measure.

Dangerous women don’t apologize for existing.

3️⃣ Track What Matters

Awareness is your superpower.  That’s why I created Navigating Menopause: A Comprehensive Wellness Tracking Journal.  Because when you start tracking your symptoms, energy, sleep, mood, and movement — you start to see patterns. You stop guessing and start understanding.

And that understanding?  It becomes the foundation for advocating for better healthcare, better boundaries, and better choices.

Knowledge isn’t just power — it’s liberation.

Being “dangerous” in midlife doesn’t mean burning your life down.  It means refusing to abandon yourself.

It’s the courage to say:

“I deserve to feel good.”
“I deserve answers.”
“I deserve to take up space in this world.”

So yes, be dangerous.
Be informed.
Be bold.
Be unstoppable.

Because when women in midlife rise — we change everything.